I always thought that I would be back in my red and white boat vying for a spot on the Canadian National team looking to represent Canada and show the world what this Saskatchewan girl could do. But over the last 12 months my priorities, dreams and desires have changed. I never really thought about this day, but I am retiring from competitive sport and lucky for me it is on my terms.
This province and the Wascana Racing Canoe Club may not have seemed like the optimal place to paddle but for me it was the perfect place to paddle. Since the age of 9 that smelly lake held a piece of my heart and will always be one of my happy places.
I was a little girl with a big dream and with the support of my parents, siblings, family, coaches, friends and the community my dreams became a goal and began to become reality.
I don't know where I would be without my parents. With every step I took they quietly and gently supported me. They allowed me to follow whichever path I thought best and were there to help me learn my lessons. I will be forever grateful for the opportunity they provided me. I know that life was not easy. Early mornings, late nights, lots of $$, and constant hello/goodbyes. But, I am who I am because they gave me the opportunity to follow my dreams and spread my wings.
Having an older sister who spent countless hours down at the local lake meant that my siblings also got to do the same thing. I want to thank my siblings for their support, known and unknown. It was always inspiring to see them smiling and waving at me from the sidelines. It was a wonderful distraction from the stresses of racing to try and find them cool gifts, when away, and they were always there, waiting at the bottom of the airport stairs with smiles and open arms ... No matter my results.
Devon, was there every step of the way. Learning the hard lessons with me, supporting me and helping to chase down what sometimes felt like the impossible. I know long distance relationships aren't high on anyone's list of things to do but he did it and never complained(at least not to me).
Where would an athlete be without coaches and the organizations that support our athletes. WRCC, CKS, SaskSport, CKC all believed in me and my goals. Each in their own way were an integral part of my growth as an athlete. I would like to thank Dave Robertson for all his reading, ingenuity and patience while coaching me. I know that I am moody and I can be stubborn ... The makings of someone very "easy" to work with some days. I appreciate all your efforts and that you believed I could find international success before I believed it.
And last but not least I would like to thank my team mates and competitors, often they were one and the same. I have gained some of the best friends a girl could ask for and without you would have been lost.
I don't know what the future holds. Where the wind will take me next or what adventure is in store but I am excited for the journey because if it is anything like this last one I am in for something special.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Conversation ASK, December 15,2012.
Recently I was given the opportunity to write a blog for a very unique forum that has been created by two very successful Canadian paddlers, Angus Mortimer and Ryan Cuthbert.
Conversation ASK is a facebook page where National team and Former National team athletes have been posting blogs about the important things they have learnt over the course of their careers. It ranges from the single most used excuse, " My alarm clock didn't go off", to" The Value of Balance".
On December 15th some of the World's best paddlers will be on this page answering questions. Please check it out. Please spread the word. The athletes are amazing paddlers who have knowledge to share with athletes :D
I was honored to have the opportunity to share some of the things that I have learnt from sport. Here is what I wrote:
"Dear, 14 Year Old Me"
Since getting injured a year ago I have been coaching with the canoe club in Saskatoon. It has been an amazing experience. I have a completely new understanding and appreciation for coaches, especially the coaches who worked with me and my friends in our youth. I have found myself recalling my childhood training and racing experiences more often than ever before. I even find myself saying, if only I had been smarter, if only I had known, if only ... But that is just it. They are ifs and buts and they do not get me any further ahead. However, there is one BUT that is positive. I can share these revelations and overlooked opportunities with the kids at the club, with the athletes who are about to embark on the path that I went down. I can share some of this and hopefully help them become better athletes and help them to accomplish more than I did.
So what would I tell myself, if I could go back and have a conversation with 14 year old me. What is it that I would tell 14 year old Kia? ... Where do I begin?
I would tell her that having a dream is the best motivation for success. I would tell her that she cannot dream big enough because it is those dreams that fuel desire, a desire that creates a willingness to train at 6 am (when it is -40 outside). It is those dreams that help you work so hard you make yourself sick and it is those dreams that force you out of bed when every muscle in your body is sore and sure that one practice won’t make a difference. I would tell her that those are exactly the things that make the difference. Those moments when you push through for a dream become the moments that give you confidence on race day. When your legs are screaming and your lungs are burning and you feel like you are paddling through cement you keep driving those legs, rotating that torso and moving your arms because that training has created a toughness that won’t break and competition is, among many things, about being tough.
Something I knew even when I was 14 was that I could be stubborn. But, over the years as much as being stubborn helped me it has hindered me. I didn’t even notice how much it hindered me until I took a step back and really, truly, critically, looked at myself. Now that I know how I acted and what I did I want to shake the stubborn out of my 14 year old self (not that my stubbornness started or stopped with my teenage years). But, my coaches were smarter than me because that DEFINITELY would not have worked. I would have done what I have always done, shut down. That was my go to and one major downfall for me. When someone, a coach, a parent, or anyone, did something I didn’t like or I wasn’t sure how to deal with, I would put up this impenetrable wall. This wall was what I thought was protecting me and allowing me to continue to perform. Boy, was I wrong. This wall, although it kept out the distractions or the unwanted information, kept me out of my ideal performance state as well. What could I have done differently though? Distraction control is something that high performance athletes need to learn. It says so in ALL the books for athletes. It is true, it is super important, however, I did not use it correctly. If I could teach my 14 year old self anything it would be how to better communicate what I needed and not be afraid that I would hurt someone’s feelings by doing so.
Something I am learning as I get a little older is that speaking the truth or saying how you feel doesn’t automatically mean you are being rude or insensitive which I must admit I felt to be true until very recently. I have never wanted to hurt someones feelings or make them feel like they had done something wrong, but I took it too far. Instead of telling my coaches explicitly what I needed, or did not need, in competition I would beat around the bush. I would tip toe around the exact things I wanted to say and usually what I really wanted and needed would get lost. This meant that when it came to competition day if something happened that I didn’t like, up went the wall and down went my chances of a performance in that ideal performance state. Sounds a little absurd, I am a little embarrassed even to write it. But that is the beauty of this life. It is never to late to learn something and improve yourself. If I can learn something and become a better version of myself today than I was yesterday then there is no need to look back and feel regret because its hard to regret improvement.
Lastly I would tell myself to be proud of the choices I make/made. I could complain with the best of them but when push came to shove I would put my head down and work hard. Growing up is tough. There are a million excuses to quit a piece, a practice or not show up at all. There is no road map to help make the tough decisions and there is no way of knowing whether we are making the right choices. But making choices that you believe will make you a better person and a better athlete seems like a reasonable way to go about things. As I have matured, that is what I have grown to appreciate. I am so thankful for all the opportunities that sport has provided me. Sport has taught me just about everything I need to be successful in this big, beautiful world. The only thing sport hasn’t taught me is how to be more decisive when I am choosing candy at the movie theatre. But, I am okay with holding the line up for a moment or two ... unless you have a suggestion :)
Remember to like the Conversation ASK page and visit on December 15th for your chance to ask the World's best your questions!!!
Conversation ASK is a facebook page where National team and Former National team athletes have been posting blogs about the important things they have learnt over the course of their careers. It ranges from the single most used excuse, " My alarm clock didn't go off", to" The Value of Balance".
On December 15th some of the World's best paddlers will be on this page answering questions. Please check it out. Please spread the word. The athletes are amazing paddlers who have knowledge to share with athletes :D
I was honored to have the opportunity to share some of the things that I have learnt from sport. Here is what I wrote:
"Dear, 14 Year Old Me"
Since getting injured a year ago I have been coaching with the canoe club in Saskatoon. It has been an amazing experience. I have a completely new understanding and appreciation for coaches, especially the coaches who worked with me and my friends in our youth. I have found myself recalling my childhood training and racing experiences more often than ever before. I even find myself saying, if only I had been smarter, if only I had known, if only ... But that is just it. They are ifs and buts and they do not get me any further ahead. However, there is one BUT that is positive. I can share these revelations and overlooked opportunities with the kids at the club, with the athletes who are about to embark on the path that I went down. I can share some of this and hopefully help them become better athletes and help them to accomplish more than I did.
So what would I tell myself, if I could go back and have a conversation with 14 year old me. What is it that I would tell 14 year old Kia? ... Where do I begin?
I would tell her that having a dream is the best motivation for success. I would tell her that she cannot dream big enough because it is those dreams that fuel desire, a desire that creates a willingness to train at 6 am (when it is -40 outside). It is those dreams that help you work so hard you make yourself sick and it is those dreams that force you out of bed when every muscle in your body is sore and sure that one practice won’t make a difference. I would tell her that those are exactly the things that make the difference. Those moments when you push through for a dream become the moments that give you confidence on race day. When your legs are screaming and your lungs are burning and you feel like you are paddling through cement you keep driving those legs, rotating that torso and moving your arms because that training has created a toughness that won’t break and competition is, among many things, about being tough.
Something I knew even when I was 14 was that I could be stubborn. But, over the years as much as being stubborn helped me it has hindered me. I didn’t even notice how much it hindered me until I took a step back and really, truly, critically, looked at myself. Now that I know how I acted and what I did I want to shake the stubborn out of my 14 year old self (not that my stubbornness started or stopped with my teenage years). But, my coaches were smarter than me because that DEFINITELY would not have worked. I would have done what I have always done, shut down. That was my go to and one major downfall for me. When someone, a coach, a parent, or anyone, did something I didn’t like or I wasn’t sure how to deal with, I would put up this impenetrable wall. This wall was what I thought was protecting me and allowing me to continue to perform. Boy, was I wrong. This wall, although it kept out the distractions or the unwanted information, kept me out of my ideal performance state as well. What could I have done differently though? Distraction control is something that high performance athletes need to learn. It says so in ALL the books for athletes. It is true, it is super important, however, I did not use it correctly. If I could teach my 14 year old self anything it would be how to better communicate what I needed and not be afraid that I would hurt someone’s feelings by doing so.
Something I am learning as I get a little older is that speaking the truth or saying how you feel doesn’t automatically mean you are being rude or insensitive which I must admit I felt to be true until very recently. I have never wanted to hurt someones feelings or make them feel like they had done something wrong, but I took it too far. Instead of telling my coaches explicitly what I needed, or did not need, in competition I would beat around the bush. I would tip toe around the exact things I wanted to say and usually what I really wanted and needed would get lost. This meant that when it came to competition day if something happened that I didn’t like, up went the wall and down went my chances of a performance in that ideal performance state. Sounds a little absurd, I am a little embarrassed even to write it. But that is the beauty of this life. It is never to late to learn something and improve yourself. If I can learn something and become a better version of myself today than I was yesterday then there is no need to look back and feel regret because its hard to regret improvement.
Lastly I would tell myself to be proud of the choices I make/made. I could complain with the best of them but when push came to shove I would put my head down and work hard. Growing up is tough. There are a million excuses to quit a piece, a practice or not show up at all. There is no road map to help make the tough decisions and there is no way of knowing whether we are making the right choices. But making choices that you believe will make you a better person and a better athlete seems like a reasonable way to go about things. As I have matured, that is what I have grown to appreciate. I am so thankful for all the opportunities that sport has provided me. Sport has taught me just about everything I need to be successful in this big, beautiful world. The only thing sport hasn’t taught me is how to be more decisive when I am choosing candy at the movie theatre. But, I am okay with holding the line up for a moment or two ... unless you have a suggestion :)
Remember to like the Conversation ASK page and visit on December 15th for your chance to ask the World's best your questions!!!
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Go Team !!! Go Canada !!!
Few things can capture my attention like the Olympic Games can.So many dreams and moments fueled by desire, passion and determination. One of my favorite quotes of all time is " Winners are ordinary people with extraordinary determination". I have seen and been inspired by people embodying this quote 13 days in a row now. It isn't the norm, it isn't easy and it certainly isn't for everyone.But that is what the Olympics can offer. A venue for special people to showcase there extraordinary talents, there extraordinary abilities and there extraordinary heart.
Three races that were full of exrtaordinary determination and heart were those of Adam VanKoeverdan, Emillie Fournel and Mark Oldershaw.
Four events that promise to hold just as many extraordinary moments are going to get started this "evening" or morning depending on where you live. I can't wait to see Hughes Fournel, Ryan Cochrane, Jason McCombs, Mark De Jonge and Emillie Fournel race for Canada. Sending all my speed vibes and positivity across the pond.
GO TEAM !!!!!!!!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Then I saw this tweet from Rachael McIntosh(a member of the Canadian track and field team)" Take care of your body. Its the only place you have to live." And at that moment I knew the decision I had to make. I think I had already made it. This quote helped me to admit it to myself. I will not be racing at the Olympic trials in May, barring some unforeseen miracle.
This wasn't an easy decision. Saying good bye to a dream that was so close was devastating. When I clicked the purchase button for my flight home the water works started and I was busy feeling bad for myself. But as life goes something came along that made me deliriously happy. My family brought home our newest member. Willow is almost 8 weeks old. Her golden blonde "hair" fits in perfectly with my siblings and I. She won everyone over the moment we saw her.
Speaking of huge decisions. Devon and I bought a house :) But I don't have a picture to post. Stay tuned though ... we get the house May 15 !!!
Have a great Wednesday :)
Monday, March 12, 2012
Back on the horse
I plan on doing a little paddling tomorrow so hopefully it goes well ... fingers crossed.
Friday, January 27, 2012
What are you waiting for??
TGIF :)
I am happy its Friday because it means that I am one day closer to getting off the couch and back at life. Being laid up the last week and a half I have watched more tv, read more and searched more websites than I normally do in possibly 3 months. It has certainly been a change but one that I don't think I will continue with once I am back to 100%.
My sister, Kyra, shared this really neat "photo" on facebook ... and it has really got me thinking.
I find that I have so many desires and plans. I have a bucket list with almost a hundred things on it. I want to do so many things, see so many places and experience as much of this amazing planet as I possibly can.
I want to see the wonders of the world, I want to experience the high fashion of Paris and New York, I also want to see some of the most amazing works of art that spread the globe. Not to mention I want to surf in Indonesia and trek through the rain forest. I would love to bike across Africa ... plus all the obvious desires that come from being involved in high performance sport. Cue Morgan Freeman's voice and the narration about dreams and the Olympics( thank you visa)
So today, instead of feeling bad for myself that I am on the couch, knowing that I am going to be on the couch for a little while longer, I am deciding to do something ... I am not going to just pass the time. I know its sort of silly that this "picture" is what is changing my attitude but inspiration comes in all shapes and sizes, right?
One of the items on my bucket list is to become involved with and help a charity. So, that is what I am going to use my days for. I have decided that the money from the kiabyers.com glasses I am selling I will donate to a charity. * If you haven't gotten a pair yet and want a pair let me know, I might even start sending them out in the mail :)*
If you have ideas or a charity in need of some extra help feel free to send me a message ...
Also if you want to share some of the items on your own bucket list, please do. As I check items off mine I will be sure to post about it!!
I am happy its Friday because it means that I am one day closer to getting off the couch and back at life. Being laid up the last week and a half I have watched more tv, read more and searched more websites than I normally do in possibly 3 months. It has certainly been a change but one that I don't think I will continue with once I am back to 100%.
My sister, Kyra, shared this really neat "photo" on facebook ... and it has really got me thinking.
I want to see the wonders of the world, I want to experience the high fashion of Paris and New York, I also want to see some of the most amazing works of art that spread the globe. Not to mention I want to surf in Indonesia and trek through the rain forest. I would love to bike across Africa ... plus all the obvious desires that come from being involved in high performance sport. Cue Morgan Freeman's voice and the narration about dreams and the Olympics( thank you visa)
So today, instead of feeling bad for myself that I am on the couch, knowing that I am going to be on the couch for a little while longer, I am deciding to do something ... I am not going to just pass the time. I know its sort of silly that this "picture" is what is changing my attitude but inspiration comes in all shapes and sizes, right?
One of the items on my bucket list is to become involved with and help a charity. So, that is what I am going to use my days for. I have decided that the money from the kiabyers.com glasses I am selling I will donate to a charity. * If you haven't gotten a pair yet and want a pair let me know, I might even start sending them out in the mail :)*
If you have ideas or a charity in need of some extra help feel free to send me a message ...
Also if you want to share some of the items on your own bucket list, please do. As I check items off mine I will be sure to post about it!!
Monday, January 23, 2012
1 week on the couch down ...
Hey Everyone ... Welcome to a brand new week! Who knows what it will hold. So, lets start the week off by looking at the positives.
Here in Saskatoon the sun is shining, it is no longer -45 with the wind and I am allowed to go outside for short walks :D
Back in October I wrote a post about an injury to my back that I had just suffered. "... I was warming up to paddle and my back, that has caused me some trouble over the last couple of years, was back to its old tricks. Everytime I would take a stroke there was a sharp pain that made me feel like I was injuring myself. Over the years I have dealt with pain. Pain in my shoulders, pain in my hips, cuts from boats and who knows what else, but this pain was different. It was like a part of my spine was tearing away from the rest. It sounded silly when it came out of my mouth but it was the best way I could describe it ... The pain did not subside. If anything it got worse. I went from just having pain to also having my leg give out at random. Sunday came and went and the pain did not get any better. Sitting on a couch was painful and it started to occur to me that if I could not sit on something comfortable and soft how on earth could I sit on the seat in my boat?"
And, that was the one question I had to truthfully answer. I still believe I chose right correctly. My team mates stepped in, they raced, they put everything on the line and we as a team did all that we could.
After the games I came home to recover. I was in physiotherapy everyday trying to rehab my herniated disc. I posted some updates through November. There were some VERY exciting days. The day I was allowed to do physical activity, the day that I was allowed to bike HARD and then there were the days that I got to sit back down on a paddling machine. Now those days I was excited ... but the excitement quickly left me disappointed and wanting more. Every time I would try to paddle I would find myself in pain. I started to question myself, was I really in more pain than I had been in before or had I suddenly become acutely aware of it? Maybe along the way I started to shy away from the pain instead of barreling through it ??
So some tests were in order.When the tests were done and the options were on the table I had some decisions to make. I was nervous and not 100% convinced I was doing the right thing by choosing surgery. But, last Tuesday I reported to the hospital to have a discectomy
I was admittedly nervous and scared. That night after surgery I was sore and exhausted but something was different. All the back pain I had been experiencing, for longer than I truly would admit, was gone. Don't get me wrong the incision was painful but the pain along my spine and the pain that would go through my glutes and down my leg ... it was just gone.
I want to thank my family and friends for being so supportive. I also want to thank Craven Sport Services, Dr. Beavis, Dr. Kelly and Dr. Woo as well as all of the nurses who helped me while I was under their care. I felt truly taken care of ...especially when I woke up and they offered me a popsicle!!! It was like they knew me ;)
Apparently today is one of the gloomiest days of the year. I hope that today you find reasons to smile and that the winter blues don't creep up on you.
Here in Saskatoon the sun is shining, it is no longer -45 with the wind and I am allowed to go outside for short walks :D
Back in October I wrote a post about an injury to my back that I had just suffered. "... I was warming up to paddle and my back, that has caused me some trouble over the last couple of years, was back to its old tricks. Everytime I would take a stroke there was a sharp pain that made me feel like I was injuring myself. Over the years I have dealt with pain. Pain in my shoulders, pain in my hips, cuts from boats and who knows what else, but this pain was different. It was like a part of my spine was tearing away from the rest. It sounded silly when it came out of my mouth but it was the best way I could describe it ... The pain did not subside. If anything it got worse. I went from just having pain to also having my leg give out at random. Sunday came and went and the pain did not get any better. Sitting on a couch was painful and it started to occur to me that if I could not sit on something comfortable and soft how on earth could I sit on the seat in my boat?"
And, that was the one question I had to truthfully answer. I still believe I chose right correctly. My team mates stepped in, they raced, they put everything on the line and we as a team did all that we could.
After the games I came home to recover. I was in physiotherapy everyday trying to rehab my herniated disc. I posted some updates through November. There were some VERY exciting days. The day I was allowed to do physical activity, the day that I was allowed to bike HARD and then there were the days that I got to sit back down on a paddling machine. Now those days I was excited ... but the excitement quickly left me disappointed and wanting more. Every time I would try to paddle I would find myself in pain. I started to question myself, was I really in more pain than I had been in before or had I suddenly become acutely aware of it? Maybe along the way I started to shy away from the pain instead of barreling through it ??
So some tests were in order.When the tests were done and the options were on the table I had some decisions to make. I was nervous and not 100% convinced I was doing the right thing by choosing surgery. But, last Tuesday I reported to the hospital to have a discectomy
I was admittedly nervous and scared. That night after surgery I was sore and exhausted but something was different. All the back pain I had been experiencing, for longer than I truly would admit, was gone. Don't get me wrong the incision was painful but the pain along my spine and the pain that would go through my glutes and down my leg ... it was just gone.
I want to thank my family and friends for being so supportive. I also want to thank Craven Sport Services, Dr. Beavis, Dr. Kelly and Dr. Woo as well as all of the nurses who helped me while I was under their care. I felt truly taken care of ...especially when I woke up and they offered me a popsicle!!! It was like they knew me ;)
Apparently today is one of the gloomiest days of the year. I hope that today you find reasons to smile and that the winter blues don't creep up on you.
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