Wednesday, March 28, 2012

 
Welcome Back !!! Its only been a week since my last post but A LOT has happened. As my last post said I was going to try paddling again. Well, I did it. I paddled for 20 minutes last Wednesday. I also paddled for 20 minutes on Thursday. Things seemed like they were  going to start. I could feel the excitement building again and those thoughts, the just maybe's and the is it really possible thoughts were back. Until I went to paddle on Friday morning. In the short walk to the boats I went from feeling relatively symptom free to feeling numbness and tightness like I had before. So I sat down, originally feeling pretty bad for myself, and took stalk of what is really important to me. As I went through the long list of things I value and want from my life it was obvious that if I didn't have my health I wasn't going to be able to do very many of the things I want to, love to and plan on doing.
Then I saw this tweet from Rachael McIntosh(a member of the Canadian track and field team)" Take care of your body. Its the only place you have to live." And at that moment I knew the decision I had to make. I think I had already made it. This quote helped me to admit it to myself. I will not be racing at the Olympic trials in May, barring some unforeseen miracle.
This wasn't an easy decision. Saying good bye to a dream that was so close was devastating. When I clicked the purchase button for my flight home the water works started and I was busy feeling bad for myself. But as life goes something came along that made me deliriously happy. My family brought home our newest member. Willow is almost 8 weeks old. Her golden blonde "hair" fits in perfectly with my siblings and I. She won everyone over the moment we saw her.


Isn't she just the cutest thing you have ever seen??? Willow certainly brightened my day and helped me to remember that kayaking was one of my many dreams. But it was not the one and only. So for this season I will train, enjoy the summer and see what life brings. I don't have to make huge decisions right this moment.
Speaking of huge decisions. Devon and I bought a house :) But I don't have a picture to post. Stay tuned though ... we get the house May 15 !!!

Have a great Wednesday :)

Monday, March 12, 2012

Back on the horse

The road to recovery isn't simple and straight forward, as it turns out the recovery process requires perseverance. Who knew? I am learning all about persevering in a different way than I have ever done before. Persevering with patience not by pushing through. It has been challenging thus far and certainly has kept me on my toes. 

I plan on doing a little paddling tomorrow so hopefully it goes well ... fingers crossed.


Friday, January 27, 2012

What are you waiting for??

 TGIF :)
I am happy its Friday because it means that I am one day closer to getting off the couch and back at life. Being laid up the last week and a half I have watched more tv, read more and searched more websites than I normally do in possibly 3 months. It has certainly been a change but one that I don't think I will continue with once I am back to 100%.
My sister, Kyra, shared this really neat "photo" on facebook ... and it has really got me thinking.
I find that I have so many desires and plans. I have a bucket list with almost a hundred things on it. I want to do so many things, see so many places and experience as much of this amazing planet as I possibly can.
I want to see the wonders of the world, I want to experience the high fashion of Paris and New York, I also want to see some of the most amazing works of art that spread the globe. Not to mention I want to surf in Indonesia and trek through the rain forest. I would love to bike across Africa ... plus all the obvious desires that come from being involved in high performance sport. Cue Morgan Freeman's voice and the narration about dreams and the Olympics( thank you visa)
So today, instead of feeling bad for myself that I am on the couch, knowing that I am going to be on the couch for a little while longer, I am deciding to do something ... I am not going to just pass the time. I know its sort of silly that this "picture" is what is changing my attitude but inspiration comes in all shapes and sizes, right?
One of the items on my bucket list is to become involved with and help a charity. So, that is what I am going to use my days for. I have decided that the money from the kiabyers.com glasses I am selling I will donate to a charity. * If you haven't gotten a pair yet and want a pair let me know, I might even start sending them out in the mail :)*
If you have ideas or a charity in need of some extra help feel free to send me a message ...
Also if you want to share some of the items on your own bucket list, please do. As I check items off mine I will be sure to post about it!!

Monday, January 23, 2012

1 week on the couch down ...

Hey Everyone ... Welcome to a brand new week! Who knows what it will hold. So, lets start the week off by looking at the positives.
Here in Saskatoon the sun is shining, it is no longer -45 with the wind and I am allowed to go outside for short walks :D


Back in October I wrote a post about an injury to my back that I had just suffered. "... I was warming up to paddle and my back, that has caused me some trouble over the last couple of years, was back to its old tricks. Everytime I would take a stroke there was a sharp pain that made me feel like I was injuring myself. Over the years I have dealt with pain. Pain in my shoulders, pain in my hips, cuts from boats and who knows what else, but this pain was different. It was like a part of my spine was tearing away from the rest. It sounded silly when it came out of my mouth but it was the best way I could describe it ... The pain did not subside. If anything it got worse. I went from just having pain to also having my leg give out at random. Sunday came and went and the pain did not get any better. Sitting on a couch was painful and it started to occur to me that if I could not sit on something comfortable and soft how on earth could I sit on the seat in my boat?"
And, that was the one question I had to truthfully answer. I still believe I chose right correctly. My team mates stepped in, they raced, they put everything on the  line and we as a team did all that we could.
After the games I came home to recover. I was in physiotherapy everyday trying to rehab my herniated disc. I posted some updates through November. There were some VERY exciting days. The day I was allowed to do physical activity, the day that I was allowed to bike HARD and  then there were the days that I got to sit back down on a paddling machine. Now those days I was excited ... but the excitement quickly left me disappointed and wanting more. Every time I would try to paddle I would find myself in pain. I started to question myself, was I really in more pain than I had been in before or had I suddenly become acutely aware of it? Maybe along the way I started to shy away from the pain instead of barreling through it ??
So some tests were in order.When the tests were done and the options were on the table I had some decisions to make. I was nervous and not 100% convinced I was doing the right thing by choosing surgery. But, last Tuesday I reported to the hospital to have a discectomy
I was admittedly nervous and scared. That night after surgery I was sore and exhausted but something was different. All the back pain I had been experiencing, for longer than I truly would admit, was gone. Don't get me wrong the incision was painful but the pain along my spine and the pain that would go through my glutes and down my leg ... it was just gone.
I want to thank my family and friends for being so supportive. I also want to thank Craven Sport Services, Dr. Beavis, Dr. Kelly and Dr. Woo as well as all of the nurses who helped me while I was under their care. I felt truly taken care of ...especially when I woke up and they offered me a popsicle!!! It was like they knew me ;)

Apparently today is one of the gloomiest days of the year. I hope that today you find reasons to smile and that the winter blues don't creep up on you.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Happy New Yer... 9 days late

Happy New Year :D I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!!

Lets start with the amazing cause I heard about today. It is called beads of courage. It was created by a woman in Arizona and its aim is to help children express all that they go through when battling cancer.
I was moved to tears by the bravery that the kids show ... I think this is a cause that brings positivity, in a situation that might not have a lot otherwise, and provides children with a coping mechanism that they might not have found.

You can check out the website. It is bright, informative and worth at least a perusal, I think this would be a wonderful cause to support here in Canada; www.beadsofcourage.org 
CBS aired this, about beads of courage, just the other day:                                                                          http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7143083n

When we were in Colorado at our training camp I came across a neat website. It is a lot like Etsy, or Uncrate. I have been known to frequent both of these websites but the one I look at most regularly is fancy . It has everything and anything you could dream of, I think. I was perusing the sight the other day when I came across this ...
I know this is simple. But I think there is beauty in that. Sometimes when life is moving quickly, or things are hard it is the simple things that fall by the waste side. I love the holiday season but I am acutely aware that not everyone has a wonderful time during this season. It is easy to feel lost and down, the ideals of Christmas have certainly changed over the years. I find more people are stressed and worried rather than enjoying the company of those they care about. What if a  bit of cheer could simply be found in a poster hanging innocently on a board?? This made me smile and I have to say this is probably the 10th time I have looked at this since I found it. Every time I see it, I smile. So, why not keep looking at it? Why not take what we need, especially if its free ;)

 I hope you are having a good Monday :)

Monday, November 28, 2011

Ten Tree ... Check them out

I was reading the local paper, the leaderpost, which I do almost everyday. But, today I found something more awesome than normal.


There is a wicked company that plants 10 trees for every item of clothing purchased. The clothes are a means to helping our environment, which I personally think is wicked.
So if you have not heard of ten tree before check there website out at www.tentree.org.

This is one of my personal fave tanks that they sell...
 But if you aren't into tank tops they have t-shirts and hoodies. They also have all kinds of choices for men.
So, being that this is the holiday season and all. Why not give a gift that keeps on giving :)
If you live in Regina or are visiting you can also check out there clothes at Coda Clothing and Shoes on Albert Street and Under the Sun on Quance Street.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Girl ... Right here

Gooooood Morning!
 One of my favorite quotes of all time is from Its not about the Bike by Lance Armstrong. He says "Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” This quote has been rolling through my head a lot lately. I have been dealing with a back injury for almost a month now and it has been slow. Painfully slow. I think snails move faster than I was making progress, or at least that was how it felt. But, yesterday was a BIG day. For the first time since our training camp in Colorado I was allowed to do some physical activity, stress on the some. I biked 5x1' *hard* and I was allowed to do real weights(real meaning; I was allowed to pick up actual weight instead of doing air squats and bowing exercises).


It was so awesome to feel the lactic burn in my legs and my lungs again(not quite as bad as this picture buuut), you couldn't wipe the smile off my face. My physio was making jokes saying how most people grimace and complain ... yesterday I was happier than I have been in weeks. Its kind of crazy. I didn't realize how much my body enjoys exercise and felt deprived of its normal stress relieving activity. I mean I know that there is an endorphin release but I didn't realize how used to working out I am. That might sound weird but because I have always been exercising I never stopped to think about it. But when I had the chance I realized this, being active and participating in sport, has been my life for over a decade and my body seems to get as much out of it as my mind. So I am going to keep the happy train going ...I am off to do my exercises :D