Welcome Back !!! Its only been a week since my last post but A LOT has happened. As my last post said I was going to try paddling again. Well, I did it. I paddled for 20 minutes last Wednesday. I also paddled for 20 minutes on Thursday. Things seemed like they were going to start. I could feel the excitement building again and those thoughts, the just maybe's and the is it really possible thoughts were back. Until I went to paddle on Friday morning. In the short walk to the boats I went from feeling relatively symptom free to feeling numbness and tightness like I had before. So I sat down, originally feeling pretty bad for myself, and took stalk of what is really important to me. As I went through the long list of things I value and want from my life it was obvious that if I didn't have my health I wasn't going to be able to do very many of the things I want to, love to and plan on doing.
Then I saw this tweet from Rachael McIntosh(a member of the Canadian track and field team)" Take care of your body. Its the only place you have to live." And at that moment I knew the decision I had to make. I think I had already made it. This quote helped me to admit it to myself. I will not be racing at the Olympic trials in May, barring some unforeseen miracle.
This wasn't an easy decision. Saying good bye to a dream that was so close was devastating. When I clicked the purchase button for my flight home the water works started and I was busy feeling bad for myself. But as life goes something came along that made me deliriously happy. My family brought home our newest member. Willow is almost 8 weeks old. Her golden blonde "hair" fits in perfectly with my siblings and I. She won everyone over the moment we saw her.
Isn't she just the cutest thing you have ever seen??? Willow certainly brightened my day and helped me to remember that kayaking was one of my many dreams. But it was not the one and only. So for this season I will train, enjoy the summer and see what life brings. I don't have to make huge decisions right this moment.
Speaking of huge decisions. Devon and I bought a house :) But I don't have a picture to post. Stay tuned though ... we get the house May 15 !!!
Have a great Wednesday :)
