Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Conversation ASK, December 15,2012.

Recently I was given the opportunity to write a blog for a very unique forum that has been created by two very successful Canadian paddlers, Angus Mortimer and Ryan Cuthbert.
Conversation ASK is a facebook page where National team and Former National team athletes have been posting blogs about the important things they have learnt over the course of their careers. It ranges from the single most used excuse, " My alarm clock didn't go off", to" The Value of Balance".
On December 15th some of the World's best paddlers will be on this page answering questions. Please check it out. Please spread the word. The athletes are amazing paddlers who have knowledge to share with athletes :D

I was honored to have the opportunity to share some of the things that I have learnt from sport. Here is what I wrote:

"Dear, 14 Year Old Me"

Since getting injured a year ago I have been coaching with the canoe club in Saskatoon. It has been an amazing experience. I have a completely new understanding and appreciation for coaches, especially the coaches who worked with me and my friends in our youth. I have found myself recalling my childhood training and racing experiences more often than ever before. I even find myself saying, if only I had been smarter, if only I had known, if only ... But that is just it. They are ifs and buts and they do not get me any further ahead. However, there is one BUT that is positive. I can share these revelations and overlooked opportunities with the kids at the club, with the athletes who are about to embark on the path that I went down. I can share some of this and hopefully help them become better athletes and help them to accomplish more than I did.

So what would I tell myself, if I could go back and have a conversation with 14 year old me. What is it that I would tell 14 year old Kia? ... Where do I begin?

I would tell her that having a dream is the best motivation for success. I would tell her that she cannot dream big enough because it is those dreams that fuel desire, a desire that creates a willingness to train at 6 am (when it is -40 outside). It is those dreams that help you work so hard you make yourself sick and it is those dreams that force you out of bed when every muscle in your body is sore and sure that one practice won’t make a difference. I would tell her that those are exactly the things that make the difference. Those moments when you push through for a dream become the moments that give you confidence on race day. When your legs are screaming and your lungs are burning and you feel like you are paddling through cement you keep driving those legs, rotating that torso and moving your arms because that training has created a toughness that won’t break and competition is, among many things, about being tough.

Something I knew even when I was 14 was that I could be stubborn. But, over the years as much as being stubborn helped me it has hindered me. I didn’t even notice how much it hindered me until I took a step back and really, truly, critically, looked at myself. Now that I know how I acted and what I did I want to shake the stubborn out of my 14 year old self (not that my stubbornness started or stopped with my teenage years). But, my coaches were smarter than me because that DEFINITELY would not have worked. I would have done what I have always done, shut down. That was my go to and one major downfall for me. When someone, a coach, a parent, or anyone, did something I didn’t like or I wasn’t sure how to deal with, I would put up this impenetrable wall. This wall was what I thought was protecting me and allowing me to continue to perform. Boy, was I wrong. This wall, although it kept out the distractions or the unwanted information, kept me out of my ideal performance state as well. What could I have done differently though? Distraction control is something that high performance athletes need to learn. It says so in ALL the books for athletes. It is true, it is super important, however, I did not use it correctly. If I could teach my 14 year old self anything it would be how to better communicate what I needed and not be afraid that I would hurt someone’s feelings by doing so.

Something I am learning as I get a little older is that speaking the truth or saying how you feel doesn’t automatically mean you are being rude or insensitive which I must admit I felt to be true until very recently. I have never wanted to hurt someones feelings or make them feel like they had done something wrong, but I took it too far. Instead of telling my coaches explicitly what I needed, or did not need, in competition I would beat around the bush. I would tip toe around the exact things I wanted to say and usually what I really wanted and needed would get lost. This meant that when it came to competition day if something happened that I didn’t like, up went the wall and down went my chances of a performance in that ideal performance state. Sounds a little absurd, I am a little embarrassed even to write it. But that is the beauty of  this life. It is never to late to learn something and improve yourself. If I can learn something and become a better version of myself today than I was yesterday then there is no need to look back and feel regret because its hard to regret improvement.

Lastly I would tell myself to be proud of the choices I make/made. I could complain with the best of them but when push came to shove I would put my head down and work hard. Growing up is tough. There are a million excuses to quit a piece, a practice or not show up at all. There is no road map to help make the tough decisions and there is no way of knowing whether we are making the right choices. But making choices that you believe will make you a better person and a better athlete seems like a reasonable way to go about things. As I have matured, that is what I have grown to appreciate. I am so thankful for all the opportunities that sport has provided me. Sport has taught me just about everything I need to be successful in this big, beautiful world. The only thing sport hasn’t taught me is how to be more decisive when I am choosing candy at the movie theatre. But, I am okay with holding the line up for a moment or two ... unless you have a suggestion :)

Remember to like the Conversation ASK page and visit on December 15th for your chance to ask the World's best your questions!!!

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